Here's a link to suggestions I got when I cooked my first turkey:
http://enheduanna.livejournal.com/65086.html

(Pay close attention to sororishara's suggestions, since that's how I did it, and my turkey was awesome!)

I strongly suggest not actually stuffing the turkey, but I know plenty of people do it and don't get salmonella.

Try to enjoy your cooking adventure :)

I thought it was a goat? I'm lost?

Dont' cook turkeys. I buy them already done ;)

Stuffing is generally not good for turkeys: if you don't want dry meat then it's not cooked fully in the middle, and vice versa. Make it as a side dish and bake separately.

Turkey tips: go to the main page of www.foodnetwork.com and they ought to be able to help you. Some of my own tips: cook the bird breast side down so the breast meat isn't all dry and gross. Find a tea towel or cloth napkin you can sacrifice and lay it over the bird when you're basting (get a turkey baster), which I usually do about every half hour or so: leave the towel there, the turkey will be fine. If you're not stuffing the bird remember to get the innard bag out of the turkey. Sprinkle salt and pepper outside as well as inside the turkey.

The oven bag trick is far superior to basting and towel sacrifices, IMO. Just don't forget to shake some flour around in it first so it won't stick to the bird.

butterball.com is very reliable. You can just make stuffing (not the mix, but the bags) with hot broth and it's ready to eat. Your first time out, I wouldn't stuff the bird.

Here is a list of local restaurants that have special Thanksgiving menus.

If you persist in this folly, here are some helpful hints.

Remember that basting at regular intervals is not really necessary, and adds extra cooking time by letting all that heat escape.

get that cute smart dude of yours to smoke the damn thing. That's what goes down over here and it's fabulous!

So what if I can't cook a friggin' turkey? eh? huh? OK, I can cook a turkey, I just like smoked a lot more than roasted.....

I love it when they are injected with creole butter, and deep fried. mmmm..